A very happy new year to you all!

And I'm doing better and keeping up with the blog. Huzzah!
This will be a brief entry, but eh, can't write novels all the time :)

Had a fabulous Christmas. My children's choir, the Joyful Noisemakers, did an exceptional job in their Christmas pageant on Christmas Eve. Could not have been more proud of my kiddos! I flew home Christmas day and spent a week in KCMO with a quick trip to Wichita to see friends. Miss everyone from home, but needed to get back to work, so back to DC....

Singing Leischen in Bach's Coffee Cantata with Symphony this Saturday and very much looking forward to it! Also learning 2 opera roles this month, both of them Argento - Postcard From Morocco & Miss Havisham's Fire. So needless to say, it's not been much of a "winter break".

Have gone out with friends, so it's nice to have a social life for a change. LOVED the new Sherlock Holmes film! If you haven't seen it, go see it!

...to actually keep up with my blog....good grief.

Hello all,
It's been a while....whoops. It's been a busy semester! Finished the double bill of Amelia al ballo and Il tabarro in November. What a fabulous production and cast! It was a wonderful experience to be apart of them. Directly following that would be auditions, auditions, auditions in NYC. Got to catch up with some close friends whilst I was in town and I was offered a contract for Chautauqua Opera this summer as a Studio Artist. Can I get a Huzzah for being employed doing what I went to college for?! Very excited to be apart of the company for the summer!

For the moment, I am enjoying a few days of down time now that classes and finals are done. Organizing my life at home which has been horribly neglected for the past month or so. And thanks to my roommate, I'm now on Pinterest! If you are interested in following my boards, here's the link:



It's been fun to dabble on there for the past couple of days :) Also working on getting an official website set up during January. Very excited! In the midst of relaxing, I'm also working on learning Lady With A Hand Mirror from Postcard From Morocco and Camilla from Miss Havisham's Fire for the spring operas. Also learning Bach's Coffee Cantata for a performance in early January. Lots of wonderful music in my lap and I'm loving every minute of it! Toodles!

I have not had the 4th of July off work for 4 years. Needless to say, that alone made yesterday wonderful, but the fact that I was able to go to our nation's capital and watch the Capital Hill parade yesterday morning, visit the Smithsonian's Folklife Festival, and then watch dozens of different firework displays from the 27th floor of The World Trade Center in Baltimore harbor...you can't put a value on those kind of memories and experiences.

LOVED the Capital Hill parade in the morning. I went down with my friend, Katie, and we got there early to find a good spot towards the start of the parade route. We hit the jackpot! Found standing room right at the front of the curb behind people sitting in lawn chairs, underneath a large shady tree and the best perk...right next to the ice cream vendor! Oh yea! I wasn't able to get any shots on my not so fabulous camera on my cell phone, but I took several with Katie's camera...so other pics to follow!

After the parade ended, Katie and I went to the Smithsonian Folklife Festival. What a wonderful gathering of unique cultures, foods, music, artistry! If you live in the DC area, I highly recommend going. They have the festival every year. The remaining days for the festival are July 7th-11th. Here's the website:

www.festival.si.edu

They have a "marketplace" at the festival so you can purchase items made by the artisans in connection with the Smithsonian Institute and the Peace Corps. Several items go directly to benefit Children's charities or institutes in these countries, usually toward health care or education. I bought a few things, but one of my favorites is this bangle!
There is a part of me that desperately longs to see the world and travel. I have always wanted to be "that girl" who traveled to Italy and stayed for a few months then went to live in Bali for a year. I don't want to see the world from hotels and big cities but rather see how other cultures live day to day, to learn their customs and way of life. Perhaps someday God will grant me the opportunity to do that.

After my delightful morning and afternoon in DC, I hopped on the metro to get back to my car and drove up to Baltimore to spend the evening with my friend, Laura Lee. We visited for a bit then went to Baltimore harbor to the World Trade Center. They have a catered event each year on the 27th floor to watch dozens of firework displays across the city and more specifically to see the harbor firework display.
Such an amazing site to see all of the different firework shows! I witnessed at least 24 different displays from that view! Definitely a unique 4th of July experience.

So this summer, part of my goal is to get into healthier eating and exercise habits. I've rejoined Weight Watchers to keep me accountable for what I eat and how often I exercise. Thus far it has been a successful endeavor! In being more aware of what I eat, I have been cooking more and experimenting with a few new things...Made my own combo called hot corn. The recipe included sweet corn cut from the cob, pancetta, crushed red pepper, salt n' pepper, olive oil, & garlic. YUM! It goes really well with chicken! If you want the recipe just let me know.

Also during a grocery run to Wegmans, I came across something sinfully wonderful; Talenti Caramel Cookie Crunch Gelato..........no words, you just have to try this for yourself.



I desperately want to try their Hill Country Peach Champagne gelato next! So yes, the Talenti is my exception to super healthy eating, but hey, a girl has to have some sort of sweets in her life :)


Trying to eat more fresh fruits & veggies and lay off the starches. Enjoying LOTS of pineapple and watermelon! Turkey and salmon burgers have been a regular on the George Foreman as well as grilled veggies and drinking lots of sweet tea. It's summer, so what better time to enjoy these foods?!

Tomorrow I am going to venture forth into the madness that is the Capital Hill 4th of July festivities...eek! I am only going down for the am to see the parade then will be heading to the harbor in Baltimore for fireworks that evening. Very excited to spend part of my 4th of July, the first I've had off work in 4 years, at our Nation's Capital. Will update with event details later!

Hello all!

So clearly it's been a while since I've updated my page! It has been a fabulously busy year. I now live in the Washington DC area and am getting my Masters degree in opera performance! This year has been full of wonderful growth musically, theatrically, and most importantly - spiritually.

Musically - Studying with a WONDERFUL teacher, Martha Randall. My voice has grown SO much this year and she has been such a blessing! Also working with other wonderful coaches and faculty members!!!!!

Theatrically - Have been working with the fabulous Leon Major, Nick Olcott and Pat Diamond this past year! So much more understanding of my characters and constantly pushing me to ask more questions and dig deeper. I have always believed that the stage is one of life's best teachers and with these new tools in my arsenal I will only learn more.

Spiritually - I have found a wonderful church home here and have a stronger daily walk with God. Life seems more meaningful and fufilled these days.


Alrighty....So next season I am singing Amelia from Menotti's Amelian Al Ballo and Lady With A Hand Mirror from Argento's Postcard From Morocco. Finishing learning Amelian this week and will start learning Postcard at the end of the week. So many new characters to explore! Also working on figuring out what my audition package will be for this season! Promise to keep things more interesting in my posts and include things that I enjoy like recipes, clothes, music, etc! Hope you all are doing well!

I had an awesome experience today...a little story time, so please indulge me on this one:

Today was my last Sunday as soloist at the Christian Science Church I work for in Wichita KS. It's not my denomination of choice, but the people there have been so kind and supportive of me throughout my college years and I love each and every one of them. I was approached after the service by a new member of the congregation. She wanted to share with me how moved she was by the solo. She kept gushing...not about me thank goodness, but how in those few minutes she felt the presence of God by His gift of music. WOW! It's not everyday that God let's a girl's deepest desire come true :) My greatest hope as a performer is to be a tool of the Master that he can use to bless others and bring them closer to Him. I have always known that God has given me a passion for music and a knack for it, but it becomes so much more obvious everyday that He is in control of the way it touches people. He never ceases to amaze me and He has definitely been showing off this summer by how He has provided every need that I've had.

Life can become so chaotic with schedules, demands, and obligations that we forget what a wonderful gift it is...and that it is a limited time only special! I can't imagine a more fufilling career than to share God's beautiful and intricate design of humanity with people. It takes my breath away. I never would have thought of myself with a perfomance career, but I find that I keep telling God, "alrighty...I'll give this a go" with every new experience and path that comes along. I was fortunate to understand early on that God has something planned for each and everyone of us and it is FAR better than anything we could put together ourselves. If you just trust Him to provide what is best, you will be amazed at the journey He has planned. You just need to be flexible to be spontanious, expect the unexpected, and take time for the little things. He teaches us so much in those small quiet moments and with those sudden changes life throws at us. I can't help but be overwhelmed by God....He is what drives me to do what I do and how I live. Even through the hardships I've had this summer, I find myself thanking Him for the struggle because it has made me grow a great deal and become closer in my walk with Him. Leaving with a Bible verse for the evening that sums up what I hope to be in this life.

"Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10

Yeowzaa! I have exactly one week left here in Wichita and SOOOO much to do before I leave. I still have to pack what is left in my apartment, deep clean the apartment, sort my belongings, donate stuff to good will, try to see as many friends as possible before I leave, all while still working my 5 jobs...ahh!!!

Living situation is all finalized for MD :) I have two roommates and I am looking forward to it; living by yourself can get lonely. I am still trying to find a church job in the area, but have already found a wonderful church that could be my new church home in MD. Once I get settled there, I will also have mini lessons with some of the UMD voice faculty and figure out who I will be studying with. I also plan on getting another hamster once in Maryland. I miss having a little fuzz to come home to :)

I had my last voice lesson (perhaps more in the future) with Dr.Mozzani. She has been an inspiration to me during my time at WSU and continues to be as I move forward. She is one of those people who touch your life in a brilliant way and you are forever changed by the impact. I will definitely miss seeing her on a day to day basis, but I know that we will always be close, which is a blessing. Over the summer we've worked on learning Sophie's arias from Massenet's Werther and Lucy in The Telephone. Both have been quite fun to work on and wiggle into the charaters. At least I will have something fun to show my new teacher where I am on my technique.

This summer has been very trying and a definite test of faith...lots of testing to make sure that I really am trusting God in all aspects of my life. I'm on the up and up from it though and I have a bright outlook on what He has in store for me. Will keep you all posted!

Thus far, this summer has been incredibly trying on my spirit. I am still positive though! So big yay for positive thinking!

I am extremely worn out from working all my jobs this summer....no free time what so ever. I really haven't practiced voice in a solid 2-3 weeks...AHHHH! This is absolutely not like me!!!! The longest I have ever gone without singing/practicing has been 1 week due to getting my wisdom teeth out. Pina is going to kill me on Tuesday...seeing as it will be my first lesson with her since she's been back from Italy. Looking forward to having her break me down and get me back into shape. In other fortunate news, I was excused from my jury duty! Yea! It would have been impossible with my lessons, nanny position, moving to Maryland...you get the idea. Speaking of moving, my apartment is a catastrophe area! Organizing while you pack is a great idea, but it just doesn't look great while you are in the process, haha. I bought a label maker...definitely having WAY to much fun labeling my books, dvd's, boxes, etc....I'm an office supplies geek, what can I say?

My sister is in town this week. It has been SO fantastic getting to spend time with her! We went to the drive-in on Thursday. I haven't been to one in ages, I almost forgot how much I enjoyed them. Yesterday we went to the zoo. A few days ago she managed to pull out a hang nail on her toe and it's severely infected...really gross! Hopefully she will get some antibiotics when she gets back to KCMO.

In the hustle and bustle of all of the above, I'm trying to get together with my friends who are still in town. June has been a fairly lonely month and I'm hoping that July will be much more social. This summer I've been constantly reminded how much my faith and music sustains me through life's hard knocks. It's proof that I know I'm in the right career field :)

Well, as the title of this post says, it's been a rough week. I've taken the week off of singing...a well deserved break in my opinion from singing sustained high e's for over 2 weeks...whew!

Frank and I broke up about a week ago. We are both still very close friends and I'm so blessed that it ended this way. He's going back to finish school at Texas Tech and I'm moving to Maryland for school, so it probably is for the best...I hope. Al...my little hamster....died this week. I went to check on him before I went to bed and he was barely moving, so I held him in my hand and just pet him for about 15 minutes and then he was gone.

It just seems like God is ripping things out of my hands. It's painful. I hope that I will be able to see, one day, what he has planned for me and why all of these things are necessary. And then for the cherry topper...I got a summons for jury duty....clearly this is not my week.

I am working on learning The Telephone and Werther still...slow going since I took a little time off, but not bad progress. I'm working on packing up the apartment piece by piece so I don't have to do all of it last second. The nanny job has been fun thus far. We built a fort in the basement this week...the kids have loved it. Today we are going to go see the new Toy Story movie and they are really looking forward to it! Lots going on right now, but not much to tell. Just being busy and working. Hopefully I will have a more interesting post next time...until then!

Hey all!

It has been an extremely busy month for me!!! I'm so sorry I've been neglecting my blogging duties :/

To give a summary of the month of May...finished classes and finals and then graduated on May 16th!!!!! Huzzah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of my hard work here is complete with a fabulous BM degree :D I was also hired by Opera Kansas again to perform the fantastically funny Ring of the Fettuccines. I sang the coloratura role...one good thing learned from this production...apparently I can sustain high e's...who knew?!?! And they actually sound good?!?! Whaaaa! Ring of the Fettuccines is a comedic one act opera to introduce opera to kids. I got to play the A-typical coloratura who is slightly insane/is dying of TB throughout the entire show...quite fun to run, jump, and hang off the stage whilst singing cadenzas :) I'm working on learning the role of Sophie from Massenet's Werther and also learning Lucy from Menotti's The Telephone over the summer. Pina and I had a wonderful conversation about my career....I can't believe I actually get to use that word in context with my singing!!!!! Yea!!!.....Pina thinks that I will be a lyric coloratura, then once I hit my 40's just to stick with the lyric stuff. But...she thinks that Violette in La Traviata will be key role in my career. I could die of happiness...apparently all the dying of TB in Ring of the Fettuccines was good practice for later, haha.

Other than that I am working 6 part time jobs this summer. Nanny position, frontdesk at Springhill Suites, teaching voice lessons, house cleaning, and my 2 church jobs....needless to say I'm keeping busy this summer. I will be going to KCMO at least twice a month to see my sister's swim meets. I am SOOOOOOO proud of her! She continues to grow everyday into a more incredible human being and I absolutely love her. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her this summer...doing all that sister stuff :)

I'm trying to downsize as much as possible before I move to Maryland, lots of donations to the Goodwill/ selling some pieces of furnature. I'm excited to move there and scared to death at the same time. But for me it's God just saying "I have provided the place you need, I just need you to trust me that I will provide for you". It is all boiling down to how much do I trust in God. Answer is...learning to trust him more and myself less. The other part of my life I'm working on is how to better serve those around me, how to stop being selfish....believe me it's a lot harder than I anticipated. Hopefully in time God will continue to mold me into a better person and an individual He can use.

Well...I'm finally bitting the bullet and set the goal to loose 15-20 pounds. Started Weight Watchers today via the online route. I've been having upper and lower back pain for quite some time now thanks to my ever growing feminine figure. I want to take better care of myself and what I put into my body. I'm power walking or doing yoga in the mornings, which has really helped relax me, even though I HATE getting out of bed. I'm really hoping that I will have more energy through this process and learn to take more time for myself.

In other news, I graduate WSU in exactly 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited, can you tell? I just have to put up with my last general education class for one more week and I'll be a free woman :) I'm also working on learning my role of Camila for Opera Kansas' production of The Ring of the Fettucini. The show is the first weekend of June and it's a double bill with The Schoolmaster and it should be a fun filled evening. Most of my music comes from Lucia di Lammermoor....so basically I'm singing cadenzas out my you-know-what. Big huzzah for sustainin high e's and loads of coloratura! I basically just drag out my death through the entire production, t'will be enjoyable since I haven't gotten to die on stage for a while :)

I have to admit, it was difficult for me at first, but now I'm really starting to enjoy having downtime. It definitely allows me more time to blog ;)

As some of you know I participated in the Naftzger Music Competition this past weekend. I was proud of my performance and the selections I offered, however, I did not make it to finals. The judges were offering some verbal feedback after they consulted with the finalists on their concert selections. I spoke with the vocal judge and asked him what it was that I could improve on or where I lacked in comparison to the other candidates. He said that he thought I had wonderful technique and selections and that I was one of the youngest in the competition. He told me the reason why I was not advances was because I was not very expressive as a performer.

This is absolutely the worst thing I could ever hear as a performer. My greatest wish is that someone be able to take something from my performance to bring them joy and or understanding. I almost would have rather been told that my technique needed work, not that I could not communicate as a performer. I've always been told how expressive I have been, so it was a real shocker (no WSU pun intended) for me to have that as a comment. As much as things like this hurt to hear, there has to be some truth in it. I've always tried to truly serve the text/emotional content/ and composer's wishes when I sing. But clearly there is yet more digging that I can do to cultivate my expressive capabilities. I had the rest of the evening to ponder and process the judge's comments....and drink a glass of wine :) I decided that I'm starting to not really like voice competitions at this point, but more importantly...despite not having wonderful experiences with them, that I can learn so much if I can apply myself to the areas recommended to me.

Other than that, I have been rereading the Psalms again at night before I go to bed. I will never get tired of them. They bring such comfort and peace to me, which is what I long for after a day's work and study. God's word continually helps me to mature and grow, and to take criticism gladly and learn from it. I'm so grateful that He is constantly with me and guiding me and teaching me more each and every day. My last semester here is coming quickly to an end, but I have so enjoyed being able to have some alone time. Time spent reflecting on my past, present, and my unknown future. But that's where God comes in and lets me appreciate my time and knowledge I've gained here and a peace about what is yet to come...all the while continually learning :)

I realize it's been a while since my last post and a great deal has happened since then, so make yourself comfortable :)

I FINALLY had my recital last Friday. I have to say it's a huge relief to have it done. This recital was a bear for me to tackle, and as usual I had no one to blame but myself for making it a bear...let me explain... I had picked out all of my recital repertoire last spring and had 95% of it learned before the summer. Over the summer my voice matured a big...specifically shifting higher. Usually I would be ecstatic for my voice to have grown and have more umph to play with. However, due to this shift in range, I lost my ability to park it in the lower section of my voice for any long length of time. Popping down there for a little bit, just peachy...but to sing a whole recital in the lower part of my register for an hour and a half...was not going to happen. I began picking out new literature this fall semester in October and finalized all the recital material in late February. All of this plus learning my role for the spring opera and my o-so-lovely Personal Computing homework, which by the by takes up a ridiculous amount of my time, ugh! Needless to say, lots of hard work to be done in not much time. Thanks to my ever fabulous accompanist, Bridget, and my teacher (whom I could not live without), Pina, I managed to get it all together.

The week of my recital I went through a I-hate-my-artistry/musicianship phase. We are always our worst critics, but I didn't feel as prepared as I knew I could be and it's so frustrating to feel that way. But the recital rolled around and there is just something about performing for a live audience that magnifies your musicianship and artistry as a performer. For me, I never would have pictured myself with an operatic career. I went to college thinking I could be that quirky and sarcastic high school choral director, but God had other plans. I will be the first to admit that I have my short comings, but I do my best to step out of the way and let God control the direction in my life. When he began to lead me down this opera performance route, my biggest fear was that I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. But the more opportunity I have to expose myself to music and to perform, the more I understand why I am in it for the right reasons. My prayer before every audition and performance is that God show me the way to go and that someone would be touched by the performance in a way that they could learn something, or that it would bring them joy or comfort, or help them understand humanity better as a whole. I know it's not the most normal prayer a performer could have....I usually top it off with, "And please help me not to screw up!" haha. After I have my moment of prayer, I just take a deep breath and go out there and do.

I had TONS of people at the recital. It was kind of my big send off from the mid-west seeing as I will be moving to College Park, MD in August. I loved being able to see so many of the people who have helped shape, mold and support me throughout my childhood and early adult life. It was a bittersweet moment for me. Sweet because of all the hard work and the end result being shared with my friends and family. Bitter because I know I will be going farther away from all of them. But I can look back through my life at this point with such gratitude for the numerous blessings these people have added to my life and be able to carry their love and support with me wherever I go.

All of that being said, I still have a voice competition next Friday that I have to prep for and I'm desperately trying to do all of my makeup labs for my Personal Computing class...ew. But today was one of those days where I was able to just reflect on this chapter in my life that is coming to a close. I've been at WSU for 5 years. God gave me a passion for music. I had little to give when I first began, but I am willing to work to cultivate what God has given me. Look at how He helped me grow over the past 5 years!!! It's incredible to see how far He's brought me and it fills me with awe at what He's capable of. Although moving is exciting and a little frightening at the same time, I'm anxious to see what God has in store for me at Maryland. For the first time in a REALLY long time, I have such a peace about my life and the work that has been accomplished in it. I'm so grateful for the people in my life and the different aspects they've brought.

Anyways, I realize this is a rather long post, but I've been overdue ;) Hope you all are doing well and I'll keep you posted about my voice competition, Naftzger Music Competition, next week! Lots of ♥ to you all!

Well....the paperwork is completed and my decision is made....

I'M GOING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND!!!

I have to say it was an extremely difficult decision to make, but I know that UMD is the best for me. While it is scary and a little exhilarating to be walking away from a full ride from Rice University, I am so looking forward to all the new experiences that the Maryland Opera Studio will offer! EEE!!!

I know that this does not seem like much of an update, but I will have more to share after my recital is over....it's April 9th at 7:30pm...like you all haven't heard that before ;)

Well....after 2 months of stalking my mailbox to the point of creeping out my postman...THE GRAD SCHOOL OFFERS ARE ALL IN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been accepted to all 3 schools I had applied/auditioned for - University of Maryland, Florida State University, and Rice University...which is incredibly exciting!!!! I've narrowed down my choices to University of Maryland and Rice University. I've had really amazing offers from both.

1)Rice offered me a full ride. I'm currently reading through all of the fine print to see if it is a full tuition waver or if it just covers what the minimum full-time tuition.

2)Maryland offered me an assistantship that covers half my tuition and makes the half I pay instate tuition. The assistantship also offers me health insurance and a $7,300 stipend each year.

I'm spending the next week or so calling each school with my questions, talking to the voice faculty and lots and lots of praying about this decision I have to make. I feel incredibly blessed to have been accepted to both of these wonderful schools. Rice was only taking 14 new MM students and Maryland was only taking 10 new MM students, so big yay! I know that I will receive a fantastic education from both of these schools, its just figuring out which one will be best for me.

In other news, I actually got to go somewhere for spring break!!! That never happens...ever. I went to Tulsa, OK for the Crescendo Music Competition last weekend. My car broke down on the Cimmaron turnpike on the way there....whoops. But I was able to have it towed to Tulsa and have it repared in time for my preliminary round. I made it to the semi-finals, but did not advance to finals...but hey, it's all good audition experience :) After that I drove to Dallas, TX to spend my spring break with Frank. It was really wonderful to be able to relax for a bit and spend time with him. I met several of his family members and loved them all. I came back to Wichita sporting a sunburn from visiting the Dallas Arboretum...pictures will be up later.

My recital is soon approaching...eek! I'm feeling much more prepared, which is a plus. My recital preview is this week...once I get through that it will be smooth sailing. Hope you all are doing well and as always please keep me posted with your lives!

Hello all!

Sorry I have not posted an update for a while, but life has been really busy. I'm trying to catch up in my classes from being gone for auditions, tech week for the opera, and frantically trying to finish learning my recital material. Ahhh!

The show opens Thursday! My performance nights are on Thursday and Saturday, but as fun as this show has been, I am ready for it to be over so I can tackle other things on my agenda. I will try to update more when I have the time, but until then I wish you all the best!

Big yay! I found/chose one more fantastic Handel aria for my recital! It was the last piece I needed to finish my recital program, so yahoo!!!

I am also back into the swing of playing the harp again this semester. I'm working on a harp arrangement of 6 Russian Dances by Bartok (originally for violin). It's my first time playing Bartok and I have to say I love it :) The pieces have such wonderful tone colors and incredible chromatics in them...goosebumps! We have a Concert Chorale performance this coming Tuesday as well. We are singing Rejoice In The Lamb by Britten. Did I forget to mention how much I LOVE BRITTEN?!?! He's absolutely brilliant, enough said. I'm not sure if the concert will be broadcast on WSUIR online radio or not, but I will be sure to let you know if it is. I am still waiting to hear from University of Maryland, Rice University, and Opera North. I know that I probably won't hear from them until the first week in March, but that hasn't stopped me from stalking my mailbox.

I did have to make a decision to work less hours at the Marriott after the opera. Due to all of the things I have committed myself to for school/all the fun aspects of being a graduating senior, I just can't work my usual shifts and I would not have been able to have all those days off. So I'm working just 2 days a week instead of 3. I will have to find some house cleaning jobs or find a few more voice students. I know that it was the right decision to make and I just trust that God will provide me with what I need :) But it's been amazing this week, because I've just had a wonderful peace about all these things that would usually stress me out immensely.

Anywho, I need to get back to translating and studying. More news as it occurs later!

Well....my body is refusing to sleep, so I opted to try and research/find one more Handel aria for my recital.

I have tried to avoid singing Handel for as long as possible. It's intimidated me for years, and that part has definitely not changed! Mainly it's because I've thought I would ruin a beautifully written piece. I think that it one of my largest fears as a singer. The composer, Handel to be specific, has taken such care and beauty in writing the line and the orchestration, I just don't want to screw it up by not being prepared. I do have my favorites that I long to sing someday, "Da Tempeste" from Giulio Cesare and "I Myself I Shall Adore" from Semele are my absolute FAVORITES!!!!!!!!!!! But because I am still a young singer, I know I need more time to work on my craft before I take on these pieces. Which brings me to my current frustration...finding an upbeat Handel aria that I am vocally ready for. TOUGH TO FIND! But what should I find during my search - a Handel video/interview with a woman in the business I really look up to, Joyce DiDonato:




I took a break and decided to watch this. I love it when I come across things like this. It helps me to know that I'm not alone in my desire to be able to deliver as a performer. So for me, the struggle is worth it and ends up being the most gratifying part of the whole experience.


Well...I've liked the following I-think-are-doable-pieces after the past several hours of research: "Scoglio d'immota fronte" from Scipione, "Combattuda"/ "Un 'Aura Placida"/ "Mi Parto Lieta" from Faramondo, "S'adopri il braccio armato" from Radamisto, "La mia costanza" from Fulvia, "Di re sdegnato" and "Verdi Lauri, cingetemi il crine" from Giustino, and "Se giunge un dispetto" from Agrippina. Here's hoping I find more tomorrow back in the music library and will be able to pick one...ack! I think I'm going to try attempt #2 for going to bed.

Through this whole auditioning season, I've been thinking a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. Me being me I usually tend to focus on my weaknesses. But I revisited a particular scripture that will always speak volumes to me:


"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9


In my experience, no one likes to boast about their weaknesses. However, it never ceases to amaze me how much more I depend on God because of them. Later in my life, I can look back and see His glory shine through my weaknesses and hurts. Here are some of my weaknesses:

-often take things too personally
-low self-confidence
-perfectionist
-selfish
-a long personal struggle
-often very hard on myself

These are just a mere few of my imperfections, but God uses them anyways for His purpose. Because I am so hard on myself and do have issues with low self-confidence, God enables me to remain humble with my singing. It's a daily reminder of how much more work and effort I need to utilize the gift God has given me. As my mother used to say, and still does, there will always be someone better than you. And it's true. Art is subjective and not everyone will like what I bring to the table, and that's okay.

My personal struggles and hurts have allowed me to be more aware of others' feelings and empathetic to their hurts. Sometimes they even find comfort in the fact that someone else has understood their struggle and hardship. Even though it will always be a struggle, I am thankful for the experience because I've learned so much and because I have been able to be useful because of it.


Anyways, I'm off my soap box, but it just really makes you think about things, ya know?


In other news.....BREANNA BROWN MADE STATE QUALIFYING TIME IN THE 500 FREE STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE EVEN TOOK OFF 5 SECONDS FROM HER BEST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can we tell I'm a proud big sister?! Breanna goes to State Conference in 2 weeks. So proud :)

Also I have my performance dates for L'enfant et les Sortilege at WSU. I will be on the Thursday/Saturday night cast on March 4th & 6th at 7:30pm in Wilner Auditiorium. Other than that, not much to update on. Lots of ♥ to you all, especially with Valentine's Day just around the corner ;)

So as several of you know, I am a stress magnet. Some of it is self inflicted, and the rest I just seem to attract. My body has now decided to react due to that and I have some acid reflux problems :(

I noticed that for several days my voice was feeling pretty crappy and I wasn't sure why. My top and bottom parts of my range were the worst, which is not normal for me. Thanks to my fabulous voice teacher who knows so much about health and medicinal things I now am able to treat it. I did a search as to what foods I should stay away from for a while....it was like someone jotted down my usual diet and put a big NO on it...I miss my spicey foods, coffee, and citris fruits!!! I am trying to get a better handle on this before Tuesday because that is my audition for Opera North.


In other news, I received my acceptance letter from Florida State University today, yahoo! Now I just wait to hear about acceptance from the other 2 schools and see what scholarship offers happen.

Other than that, not a whole lot to fill you in on...just trying to decompartmentalize my stressful life one step at a time. I will be SOOOO much happier once mid March rolls around; most of the stress should be gone by then. Anywho...hope you all are doing well!