Yeowzaa! I have exactly one week left here in Wichita and SOOOO much to do before I leave. I still have to pack what is left in my apartment, deep clean the apartment, sort my belongings, donate stuff to good will, try to see as many friends as possible before I leave, all while still working my 5 jobs...ahh!!!

Living situation is all finalized for MD :) I have two roommates and I am looking forward to it; living by yourself can get lonely. I am still trying to find a church job in the area, but have already found a wonderful church that could be my new church home in MD. Once I get settled there, I will also have mini lessons with some of the UMD voice faculty and figure out who I will be studying with. I also plan on getting another hamster once in Maryland. I miss having a little fuzz to come home to :)

I had my last voice lesson (perhaps more in the future) with Dr.Mozzani. She has been an inspiration to me during my time at WSU and continues to be as I move forward. She is one of those people who touch your life in a brilliant way and you are forever changed by the impact. I will definitely miss seeing her on a day to day basis, but I know that we will always be close, which is a blessing. Over the summer we've worked on learning Sophie's arias from Massenet's Werther and Lucy in The Telephone. Both have been quite fun to work on and wiggle into the charaters. At least I will have something fun to show my new teacher where I am on my technique.

This summer has been very trying and a definite test of faith...lots of testing to make sure that I really am trusting God in all aspects of my life. I'm on the up and up from it though and I have a bright outlook on what He has in store for me. Will keep you all posted!

Thus far, this summer has been incredibly trying on my spirit. I am still positive though! So big yay for positive thinking!

I am extremely worn out from working all my jobs this summer....no free time what so ever. I really haven't practiced voice in a solid 2-3 weeks...AHHHH! This is absolutely not like me!!!! The longest I have ever gone without singing/practicing has been 1 week due to getting my wisdom teeth out. Pina is going to kill me on Tuesday...seeing as it will be my first lesson with her since she's been back from Italy. Looking forward to having her break me down and get me back into shape. In other fortunate news, I was excused from my jury duty! Yea! It would have been impossible with my lessons, nanny position, moving to Maryland...you get the idea. Speaking of moving, my apartment is a catastrophe area! Organizing while you pack is a great idea, but it just doesn't look great while you are in the process, haha. I bought a label maker...definitely having WAY to much fun labeling my books, dvd's, boxes, etc....I'm an office supplies geek, what can I say?

My sister is in town this week. It has been SO fantastic getting to spend time with her! We went to the drive-in on Thursday. I haven't been to one in ages, I almost forgot how much I enjoyed them. Yesterday we went to the zoo. A few days ago she managed to pull out a hang nail on her toe and it's severely infected...really gross! Hopefully she will get some antibiotics when she gets back to KCMO.

In the hustle and bustle of all of the above, I'm trying to get together with my friends who are still in town. June has been a fairly lonely month and I'm hoping that July will be much more social. This summer I've been constantly reminded how much my faith and music sustains me through life's hard knocks. It's proof that I know I'm in the right career field :)

Well, as the title of this post says, it's been a rough week. I've taken the week off of singing...a well deserved break in my opinion from singing sustained high e's for over 2 weeks...whew!

Frank and I broke up about a week ago. We are both still very close friends and I'm so blessed that it ended this way. He's going back to finish school at Texas Tech and I'm moving to Maryland for school, so it probably is for the best...I hope. Al...my little hamster....died this week. I went to check on him before I went to bed and he was barely moving, so I held him in my hand and just pet him for about 15 minutes and then he was gone.

It just seems like God is ripping things out of my hands. It's painful. I hope that I will be able to see, one day, what he has planned for me and why all of these things are necessary. And then for the cherry topper...I got a summons for jury duty....clearly this is not my week.

I am working on learning The Telephone and Werther still...slow going since I took a little time off, but not bad progress. I'm working on packing up the apartment piece by piece so I don't have to do all of it last second. The nanny job has been fun thus far. We built a fort in the basement this week...the kids have loved it. Today we are going to go see the new Toy Story movie and they are really looking forward to it! Lots going on right now, but not much to tell. Just being busy and working. Hopefully I will have a more interesting post next time...until then!

Hey all!

It has been an extremely busy month for me!!! I'm so sorry I've been neglecting my blogging duties :/

To give a summary of the month of May...finished classes and finals and then graduated on May 16th!!!!! Huzzah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All of my hard work here is complete with a fabulous BM degree :D I was also hired by Opera Kansas again to perform the fantastically funny Ring of the Fettuccines. I sang the coloratura role...one good thing learned from this production...apparently I can sustain high e's...who knew?!?! And they actually sound good?!?! Whaaaa! Ring of the Fettuccines is a comedic one act opera to introduce opera to kids. I got to play the A-typical coloratura who is slightly insane/is dying of TB throughout the entire show...quite fun to run, jump, and hang off the stage whilst singing cadenzas :) I'm working on learning the role of Sophie from Massenet's Werther and also learning Lucy from Menotti's The Telephone over the summer. Pina and I had a wonderful conversation about my career....I can't believe I actually get to use that word in context with my singing!!!!! Yea!!!.....Pina thinks that I will be a lyric coloratura, then once I hit my 40's just to stick with the lyric stuff. But...she thinks that Violette in La Traviata will be key role in my career. I could die of happiness...apparently all the dying of TB in Ring of the Fettuccines was good practice for later, haha.

Other than that I am working 6 part time jobs this summer. Nanny position, frontdesk at Springhill Suites, teaching voice lessons, house cleaning, and my 2 church jobs....needless to say I'm keeping busy this summer. I will be going to KCMO at least twice a month to see my sister's swim meets. I am SOOOOOOO proud of her! She continues to grow everyday into a more incredible human being and I absolutely love her. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her this summer...doing all that sister stuff :)

I'm trying to downsize as much as possible before I move to Maryland, lots of donations to the Goodwill/ selling some pieces of furnature. I'm excited to move there and scared to death at the same time. But for me it's God just saying "I have provided the place you need, I just need you to trust me that I will provide for you". It is all boiling down to how much do I trust in God. Answer is...learning to trust him more and myself less. The other part of my life I'm working on is how to better serve those around me, how to stop being selfish....believe me it's a lot harder than I anticipated. Hopefully in time God will continue to mold me into a better person and an individual He can use.

Well...I'm finally bitting the bullet and set the goal to loose 15-20 pounds. Started Weight Watchers today via the online route. I've been having upper and lower back pain for quite some time now thanks to my ever growing feminine figure. I want to take better care of myself and what I put into my body. I'm power walking or doing yoga in the mornings, which has really helped relax me, even though I HATE getting out of bed. I'm really hoping that I will have more energy through this process and learn to take more time for myself.

In other news, I graduate WSU in exactly 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So excited, can you tell? I just have to put up with my last general education class for one more week and I'll be a free woman :) I'm also working on learning my role of Camila for Opera Kansas' production of The Ring of the Fettucini. The show is the first weekend of June and it's a double bill with The Schoolmaster and it should be a fun filled evening. Most of my music comes from Lucia di Lammermoor....so basically I'm singing cadenzas out my you-know-what. Big huzzah for sustainin high e's and loads of coloratura! I basically just drag out my death through the entire production, t'will be enjoyable since I haven't gotten to die on stage for a while :)

I have to admit, it was difficult for me at first, but now I'm really starting to enjoy having downtime. It definitely allows me more time to blog ;)

As some of you know I participated in the Naftzger Music Competition this past weekend. I was proud of my performance and the selections I offered, however, I did not make it to finals. The judges were offering some verbal feedback after they consulted with the finalists on their concert selections. I spoke with the vocal judge and asked him what it was that I could improve on or where I lacked in comparison to the other candidates. He said that he thought I had wonderful technique and selections and that I was one of the youngest in the competition. He told me the reason why I was not advances was because I was not very expressive as a performer.

This is absolutely the worst thing I could ever hear as a performer. My greatest wish is that someone be able to take something from my performance to bring them joy and or understanding. I almost would have rather been told that my technique needed work, not that I could not communicate as a performer. I've always been told how expressive I have been, so it was a real shocker (no WSU pun intended) for me to have that as a comment. As much as things like this hurt to hear, there has to be some truth in it. I've always tried to truly serve the text/emotional content/ and composer's wishes when I sing. But clearly there is yet more digging that I can do to cultivate my expressive capabilities. I had the rest of the evening to ponder and process the judge's comments....and drink a glass of wine :) I decided that I'm starting to not really like voice competitions at this point, but more importantly...despite not having wonderful experiences with them, that I can learn so much if I can apply myself to the areas recommended to me.

Other than that, I have been rereading the Psalms again at night before I go to bed. I will never get tired of them. They bring such comfort and peace to me, which is what I long for after a day's work and study. God's word continually helps me to mature and grow, and to take criticism gladly and learn from it. I'm so grateful that He is constantly with me and guiding me and teaching me more each and every day. My last semester here is coming quickly to an end, but I have so enjoyed being able to have some alone time. Time spent reflecting on my past, present, and my unknown future. But that's where God comes in and lets me appreciate my time and knowledge I've gained here and a peace about what is yet to come...all the while continually learning :)

I realize it's been a while since my last post and a great deal has happened since then, so make yourself comfortable :)

I FINALLY had my recital last Friday. I have to say it's a huge relief to have it done. This recital was a bear for me to tackle, and as usual I had no one to blame but myself for making it a bear...let me explain... I had picked out all of my recital repertoire last spring and had 95% of it learned before the summer. Over the summer my voice matured a big...specifically shifting higher. Usually I would be ecstatic for my voice to have grown and have more umph to play with. However, due to this shift in range, I lost my ability to park it in the lower section of my voice for any long length of time. Popping down there for a little bit, just peachy...but to sing a whole recital in the lower part of my register for an hour and a half...was not going to happen. I began picking out new literature this fall semester in October and finalized all the recital material in late February. All of this plus learning my role for the spring opera and my o-so-lovely Personal Computing homework, which by the by takes up a ridiculous amount of my time, ugh! Needless to say, lots of hard work to be done in not much time. Thanks to my ever fabulous accompanist, Bridget, and my teacher (whom I could not live without), Pina, I managed to get it all together.

The week of my recital I went through a I-hate-my-artistry/musicianship phase. We are always our worst critics, but I didn't feel as prepared as I knew I could be and it's so frustrating to feel that way. But the recital rolled around and there is just something about performing for a live audience that magnifies your musicianship and artistry as a performer. For me, I never would have pictured myself with an operatic career. I went to college thinking I could be that quirky and sarcastic high school choral director, but God had other plans. I will be the first to admit that I have my short comings, but I do my best to step out of the way and let God control the direction in my life. When he began to lead me down this opera performance route, my biggest fear was that I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. But the more opportunity I have to expose myself to music and to perform, the more I understand why I am in it for the right reasons. My prayer before every audition and performance is that God show me the way to go and that someone would be touched by the performance in a way that they could learn something, or that it would bring them joy or comfort, or help them understand humanity better as a whole. I know it's not the most normal prayer a performer could have....I usually top it off with, "And please help me not to screw up!" haha. After I have my moment of prayer, I just take a deep breath and go out there and do.

I had TONS of people at the recital. It was kind of my big send off from the mid-west seeing as I will be moving to College Park, MD in August. I loved being able to see so many of the people who have helped shape, mold and support me throughout my childhood and early adult life. It was a bittersweet moment for me. Sweet because of all the hard work and the end result being shared with my friends and family. Bitter because I know I will be going farther away from all of them. But I can look back through my life at this point with such gratitude for the numerous blessings these people have added to my life and be able to carry their love and support with me wherever I go.

All of that being said, I still have a voice competition next Friday that I have to prep for and I'm desperately trying to do all of my makeup labs for my Personal Computing class...ew. But today was one of those days where I was able to just reflect on this chapter in my life that is coming to a close. I've been at WSU for 5 years. God gave me a passion for music. I had little to give when I first began, but I am willing to work to cultivate what God has given me. Look at how He helped me grow over the past 5 years!!! It's incredible to see how far He's brought me and it fills me with awe at what He's capable of. Although moving is exciting and a little frightening at the same time, I'm anxious to see what God has in store for me at Maryland. For the first time in a REALLY long time, I have such a peace about my life and the work that has been accomplished in it. I'm so grateful for the people in my life and the different aspects they've brought.

Anyways, I realize this is a rather long post, but I've been overdue ;) Hope you all are doing well and I'll keep you posted about my voice competition, Naftzger Music Competition, next week! Lots of ♥ to you all!