...to quote a piece I'm currently working on....mer....



Sorry it's been a while, but life has been rather hecktic as of late. I'm still new to the whole blogspot concept vs my old blog location.



So I last left off that I had my first professional contract with Opera Kansas, yahoo! I learned the role in 4 days, had one week of rehearsal and then the show. That rate of speed was new, but I really enjoyed the process. I was the baby of the cast, but it was a wonderful learning experience to work with those more seasoned than myself. The show was a wonderful way to escape all that life has thrown on me and what I've stupidly decided to take on for the summer...ew...so here's what I've gotten myself into for the summer:



*Working 3 church jobs- one directing, one choral member, and one soloist job

*Teaching voice lessons at a local music store

*Working 24 hours a week at the Marriott

*Full time student at WSU this summer, including evil presession at the moment

*House sitting for one of my professors

*Still volunteering for Big Brothers Big Sisters

*Learning all my senior recital material, already picked out the music

*Goal of loosing 20 pounds this summer/ sliming down a bit

*Researching in detail my list of possible graduate schools

*Refreshing my languages

*Researching suitable roles for myself

*WSU opera audition material for next fall

*Also reading up on my Music History, Theory, Pedagogy, and Opera Literature




Off the top of my head, that's all I can think of that I've signed up for this summer....oh yea, I'm getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out in July...ew...


Point being, this is most likely the busiest I've been in I don't know how long. And currently just incredibly frustrated and slightly depressed. As Debra Baxter put so elequently at the show yesterday..."Mandy, there's a word that you need to incorperate into your vocabulary. It starts with an n. Actually make that a capital N. N...OOOOOOOOO NO!" As funny as the woman is, she makes a valid point. Despite the fact that I'm just shy of being 22, I still have not learned how to say no to people, and they take advantage of it. And I think what makes this a vicious cycle for me is because I tend to be a very solitary individual. Not intentionally, but because I have become so accustomed to isolating myself. I bury myself in my music/ work/ and tasks that others ask of me. I feel guilty if I sit down for 2 seconds to myself, including writing this entry. So I fill up my time with work/school/ and other activities.


But sometimes I can't help but feel so alone, and I realize it's part of the business, but it still doesn't change those once in a while blue moods, ya know? I also realize that my lack of sufficient sleep does not help the blues either. At least I will be able to handle being by myself for a career. As far as usually handling it goes, I'm a pro.


In order to try and end this on a slighly happier note....I did get the grant I applied for from the Koch Cultural Trust....SWEET! This means that my trip to go study with Alan Held this summer in Philadelphia is COMPLETELY PAID FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now isn't that fabulous! If there is one thing that has been made clear to me in my limited...almost 22 years....of experience, is that God's gift to me has been music. Music has always been there for me and speaks to my soul in a way that nothing else ever could. Music is what has carried me through every hardship in my life and taught me my most valuable lessons. That is why I perform. It is what keeps me whole and I want to share that knowledge and experience with as many people possible in my life time.



Here's my two quotes of encouragement for today.



"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!"

-Eleanor Roosevelt



"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philipians 4:13